We come across, several crossroads in life- when we are just unable to take decisions. But then, we fall back on past experiences, advise from friends …& those who we have faith in…and most importantly our gut feelings… eventually reaching a decision. But what I touch upon here are, our “beliefs” …and how to decide what one should believe in and what, one should just shun off- on the grounds since there is no proof I wouldn’t just agree and believe . How does a human mind come to this decision. If I take my personal example, most of my beliefs are deep rooted in the environment, I was brought up in. Somehow, what my parents were following & believing in, was just the right thing to do. Or maybe, it could simply be that I never gave this- another thought .
To be clearer, I’m talking about the simple day to day religious beliefs, and maybe some superstitions. I was like, if my mom says don’t cut nails after 4 in the evening … I was ok…no issues . It was just like – that we celebrate this festival and these are the rituals we follow- good enough a reason for me…to do the same. AND I thought this is how things go …our parents said- we just followed the family customs…but recently I had an altogether different taste …when Harshiv , my elder one, 18, started questioning me, kind of at times – ridiculing me as “Mom you and your superstitions”. He wanted to know the meaning and purpose of some of the pujas and customs we followed year round, to which I found most of the times I did not have definite answer to…and I ended him giving as lame an answer as just do it because I am telling you. These discussions generally ended up in both of us arguing.
It was kind of not exactly shocking but a unknown scenario for me…as if like how can my son not believe…will he become atheist and it was like a big WHY …why is he questioning things which need not be questioned. At times I even raised my voice…and then Suyash came as a saviour(as always) . He explained just because you followed, you believed you can’t make him do it…if he questions – you rather be ready with answers …that made me approach everything with a new perspective…now instead of kind of scolding him I wanted to reply. And slowly few things started sinking in.
To believe or not is Harshiv’s and Vayun’s choice, I can just guide, perhaps persuade him but ultimately it is his choice…which also in turn could change someday… he may chance upon some book , attend a seminar which may change his outlook, belief system…give him his answers…but till then …I have to let things move at their own pace , nothing can be decided or believed just for the sake of it. Though my heart wants him to do whatever I say (it may be not the right way to put it…) but the silver lining for me today is he even if he disagrees , he still does not refuse me…he listens for my sake. ‘Baat to meri phir bhi saari maanta hai’ 🙂
Cheers to being the mom of a young darling adult …!!