Every year when Durga Puja comes, it brings a rush of memories to my mind and my heart. This, I suppose, is bound to happen with anyone who has been brought up in the city of joy, Kolkata.
Whether you are a Bengali or not, it does not matter when it comes to this festival. When I think of the Pujas, I feel we go through different phases. Maybe when I was a toddler, I assume my parents must have taken me to a couple of nearby pandals. What my early memories are of as a little girl is covering all the pandals in the neighbourhood, walking around, all dressed. And then, adding a few more years, I remember there were plans to cover more neighbourhoods with cousins. When with family, parents are more lenient with time limits. Now we saw the pujas in a different light (literally also). We ventured out in the evening, where we saw that each pandal had its own story to tell through its lighting and decoration. So, I grew up going through all these phases and feel so wholesome today, reminiscing about them.
In my home, with Pujas also came the time of Diwali cleaning, which I used to enjoy so much. Old albums came out, lofts were emptied, and with them came out stuff that mom saved for either using sometime later, or gifting it for my marriage. Yes, as early as when I was a little girl, some things were labelled for me.
Now fast forward to post-marriage, being in Faridabad, these puja pandal visits became less. Still, lately, for 3-4 years, I have been going regularly, so much so that now it is slowly settling in Suyash’s mind also. This time he asked me when I want to go to see Puja…? I believe everybody goes through a flash of emotions now and then. And this time, standing in front of the Durga Ma idol, I just felt so much like I was back in my childhood, back in my city. And then I realised keeping some traditions or habits of the past alive, even if temporarily, helps me go back to those days and feel the same energy. Maybe Suyash is making new memories going with me, but I am getting to relive the times gone by.
As I mentioned the Diwali cleaning process, I see how my kids enjoy looking at the few albums we have of the times before smartphones kicked in. Seeing them, I see myself. And believe me, it’s such a beautiful feeling. We all have a few habits that stay with us throughout life. Habit in the sense of a way of doing certain things, following certain personal traditions. After the day I went to see the Puja and felt so full of emotions, I have been noticing that so many of my daily activities get me connected to my childhood. How lovely is that? They say one should not live in past but stay in the present and look forward to the future. But to me, these little things that help me visit my past are beautiful and therapeutic. I am sure if one sits and thinks about this, as to how few things in his/her life still happen as when he was a child, it is bound to become a happy day. Also, many times we immerse ourselves so much in our duties and responsibilities, we kind of end up ignoring ourselves. When we get to do things that have a happy memory attached to them, not only do we feel joyful, but it is as if we took out time to love ourselves, in fact, took out time to give ourselves time. To me, this year’s visit to Durga Puja was my connection to my childhood. Think about what can make you feel the same way and feel rejuvenated.