Birds are ready to Fly…
My son is not the first one to go to college, every year innumerable kids leave home and go to study abroad, or to a different city. But what is “first” in this are my feelings, my missing him, yet having a wholesome feeling that comes from the journey we started when I took him in my arms for the first time.
Everything goes on as a cycle. When got married it was just me and Suyash, and now a days, after Harshiv left for college and Vayun also started physically going to school after 2yrs of online classes…it feels again it will be just me and Suyash.
When Harshiv was born, somebody told me as a mother you will keep shifting to one phase to another but your care and concern for the child never goes. The child as he/she grows starts becoming independent, so we do get more relaxed, when he starts eating himself, when at middle school he starts studying himself, of course we don’t have to take care on a very basic level, but they can never ever be out of our mind, out of the area in the brain which is connected to care and concern. At 19 and 14 they are big boys but can I stop caring and thinking about them …impossible.
And so when Harshiv left for college, Vayun for school… it felt the birds are now ready to fly. The house is quiet, there is no more endless chit chat on the dining table, no demands for make something “accha” for dinner…no messy rooms, laundry bags stay unused, the soft drinks don’t disappear magically from the fridge, no managing the driver for tutions…i can go on and on. I feel silly thinking how I used to get tired asking him to keep his room neat and tidy, keep things properly …and ab the room looks so so boring. A message or a call from him lits up my face. Vayun is at home, but he hardly has time with long hours of school, and with his big bro not around he is also in his own shell.
Yes, the room is now neat and clean but boring, yes, the house is quiet and no commotion… yes I miss my kids being around me always …but am i sad …No…!… because I feel contented, I am happy in a very different way. I have a feeling of what you call job satisfaction(I know raising kids don’t come under the word job 😊) If their presence makes me happy, their absence in the quest to make their own nests makes me happier. Harshiv got admission in a university of his choice, he enjoys what he is studying, he is well settled, has got new friends … as if it feels though it is a long long way to go …but things turned out to be whatever and in the way Suyash and I wanted , dreamt…till now…!
When we bring up are children , with the education we provide, the moral values, social life…we give them wings …and so it is inevitable that the birds will fly when ready …and I feel joyous , happy , elated , delighted that one of mine has started his flight …and the younger one will be soon set to fly…god bless them..!