I have always believed in the concept that each day brings a newness in all spheres of our life. Even if our life is bound by a fix routine, something fresh, unknown does happen. From the simple things like the food we cook everyday in the same way may taste different, the clothes we wear may either look very worn out suddenly or still give us great vibe, we may get a lot of traffic or may have a smooth ride …these are a few of very random things that may happen to us as we start a new day. But these are just things happening. I also strongly believe that we get to know something new about our spouses, children and friends with whom we interact kind of everyday but still something new about them unfold every now and then. We know these people from years and decades and still if we give it a thought and reflect, we are still learning about them. A situation occurs and the way they handle it gives us a totally new perspective about the person. Also, the basic truth “we grow” can never change. Our thoughts, ideas, way of living, likes and dislikes understandings…all change.
And I personally find this very amazing. It is like meeting a new person. It takes away the boring mundanity of life. Where children are concerned they are actually growing in literary terms plus they have so much influence of their peers, social media, that u realise what you thought your child was last month is now very different. At times your spouse shares a anecdote from his youth or childhood which you had not known even after staying 24 years leaves you in kind of awe. But this all is about people around us.
What has occupied my mind since few days is we must be the ones who know everything about ourselves. I mean who can knows me better than me myself. There is no guess work. I don’t have to find any conclusions. I don’t have to make reflections that this maybe because of that. I know exactly what is going on in my mind … be it positive be it negative. I know what I like and what I don’t like, what I want to do and what I don’t want to…but is it true…? Do I really know myself that well…
Those who know me well, I have always been happy being a stay-at-home mother and wife. Nothing gives me more pleasure than taking care of my kids, Suyash and our home and this always comes first in my life. Doing anything other than this like a career or some other work has never been on cards. And I always believed this is what I am and happiest doing it. For the last four or so years Suyash had been asking me to join office , I did make an attempt…sometimes went for 4 days sometimes a week or maximum of 10 days and then had a reason for not continuing. And I always told him “This is so not me, I don’t have that in me, I know myself I am not a office person”. But 6 months back when Vayun’s board exams finished and there was a feeling that I have a good 2-3 hours of free time even after taking care of everything well. And somehow the mind was in a better place, I was feeling a need to do something productive. And so come April 24’ I started going to office in first half. What was different than the last four years I don’t know…but it was definitely something else…absolutely new feeling. Come Diwali I could not go to office for 10 -12 days, I would not tell I was missing office or something but the very first day after Diwali when I again started going it gave me so much new energy and happiness and peace. And so I realised I don’t know myself that well …😊We change, our thought processes change …what we are today, maybe tomorrow we are a different person…and it is okay to be new and changed.